“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” – Aldous Huxley
Getting results always takes motivation and hard work, and it is the motivation that fuels to make things happen.
Toxic people – they are everywhere. The world is full of them. The echoes of what they said about you keep repeating over and over in your head that you can’t seem to shut them out. Has this ever happened to you?
YOU ARE BOUND TO MEET THESE PEOPLE WHO HURT YOU.
You can meet all these sorts but, do you know what the good news is? You can control what you can control – yourself. Below are some ways to help yourself when no one else will.
Give yourself the respect you deserve.
If you give someone the power to upset you, that could be a sign of lack of self-confidence. If you value and respect yourself, do not let anyone have the power over your emotions. Give value to your being and never let them make you doubt about yourself. Fight for the right of being respected by other people.
“To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves – there lies the great, singular power of self-respect.” – Joan Didion
Do not take someone’s opinion about you personally.
Realize the need for every behavior. It is just the same as understanding what is happening to that particular person is his and not yours. Do not assume that all of what others do to you have something against you and that these things are to hurt and annoy you intentionally. Never also blame yourself for that. Remember as well that every person is entitled to express his opinion. Yes, that someone can say that, but do you know what? You can always respond differently: Do not take it personally.
“People can be mean. Don’t take it personally. It says nothing about you, but a lot of them.” – Unknown
Do not try too hard to please them.
You are not born to please people. When they upset you, the tendency is you will end up submitting yourself to them and do whatever it takes to get their approval. NO NO NO! Do not change what you do not want to change about yourself.
“Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don’t let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through this form. Risk being seen in all of your glory.” – Jim Carrey
Acknowledge your shortcomings and change for the better.
At the same time, try to change what is not good for you. It may be hard, but accept that you commit mistakes. Forgive yourself, and change the things which no longer serve you good. In that case, you will help yourself grow and become a better you.
“Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.” – Albert Einstein
Accept them for who they are.
Acceptance is letting go of what irritates you. Sometimes, you only get offended because you believe that things have to be done to you as you would to them. It is not always that way. Accept that each person has his own values and the rules do not always have to be yours.
“There’s no beauty without difference and diversity. Love unconditionally.” – Rasheed Ogunlaru
Stay away from negative people.
If you want to be positive, surround yourself with positive people who help in your growth. Stay away from those who demean your value, destroy your image and hinder your growth. Remember that you have the right to choose the people who you want to be in your life.
“You cannot expect to live a positive life if you hang with negative people.” – Joel Osteen
Do not forget that how someone treats you does not matter. It does not matter how he throws his poison at you. You will not be poisoned if you decide not to be. Instead, show that person your love. Loving and accepting the unloved is not only moral but also it is self-rewarding.
littlemisadvencha is a Filipino Civil Engineer, M.S. student in Structural Engineering and a fur mom of four-legged babies. She writes about her experiences to inspire and educate.