At this point in life, I realized that there are some things which are beyond our understanding. Looking back, I may recall the events I wished I could change, words I wish I had never been said and time that could have better been spent. I could have been a better person if not for the immature me way back years ago. Although it wasn’t the sole reason, the maturity of a person matters a lot. Not becoming friends with an ex ain’t a universal rule, because staying friends after romantic relationship is over is still possible.
Life is full of chances and choices
I admired someone when we’re still in high school. I usually don’t have crushes, even until now. Sounds weird? But, it’s true. So, second year high school, I had a crush and actually confessed it to him. Eventually, he developed the same feelings and started to court me. We became together. Everyone’s actually rooting for us because they thought we were perfect. I was the achiever (and so is he), and he’s a band member. He sang songs for me while playing his guitar on stage. We were kids so young and never knew what love really means. We all thought about the butterflies. Later, we realized the other things we were missing outside the relationship. That’s why it didn’t last long.
Again, we all have choices to make. So, that is the thing. I have thought long and hard about the reality of things and how they unfolded to be what they are now. Is life full of regrets? Possible. However, we all make choices everyday, and these choices define who and what we are now. Looking back again to the old us, I realized that breakups won’t make someone a bad person. We usually put the blame on the dumpers, then develop and carry griefs towards them. But, many don’t dive into the depth of the reason why it happened. It doesn’t mean that if two just don’t click romantically or they are both immature, they won’t become a great person to get along with in the future.
Staying Friends After Romantic Relationship is Over
Friendship above all else. A healthy relationship with someone from your past is not only a great sign, but also portrays maturity that is built in closeness and mutual respect. Ofcourse, it won’t happen right away after breakup. Time heals. Lots of things happen and insights come with time and space apart. Both of you will grow and know yourself more. During this time, I have realized that I need someone who can get along with my spirited nature, burning passion on the things I like, and confidence. For sure, he also realized who and what he really wants.
Mutual respect. Staying friends with that someone also means I honor our time spent together. In fact, I still admire him for the same reasons I admire him before. Only now, even more. He became a determined man with solid principles in life. He still respects me. I guess it never left. Because we had a past, I also believe that he understands me in a way that other people don’t. This is because he’d been there with me before. If he says he is happy with my endeavours, I know that it is genuine.
People are easy to judge, but who cares?
As I age, I care less about what people think. Whether you do good or bad, they always have something to say. Sadly, some of them are whom you consider as friends. But, here’s the catch: it’s totally fine. Give up the need of approval from others. Just live your life the way you want it as long as you make it meaningful and you don’t step on other people.
It’s not for everyone
While it may work for some, staying friends after romantic relationship is over is not for everyone, and it is FINE especially if the end is a disaster. But, if you really want to pursue the friendship, go for it and both of you can start off on a fresh, clean slate.
Being friends with him is like a reminiscence. We have memories, inside jokes, and shared experiences that no other person can touch. They are beautiful. They matter.
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littlemisadvencha is a Filipino Civil Engineer, M.S. student in Structural Engineering and a fur mom of four-legged babies. She writes about her experiences to inspire and educate.