Turn Your Early Morning Ramblings to Positive Endings

Just the ordinary morning ramblings. I wake up from a seemingly brief sleep at 3:30 AM, just barely making out John Krasinski’s face in the dream I was having right before my alarm went off. I contemplate on whether to get up and shower or press the SNOOZE button and sleep for another 10 more minutes. Then, I rub the exhaustion from eyes.

Early morning ramblings…

On my way to the hospital, I look at theorange-pink sky in the horizon. I notice the bare streets and the streetsweepers and I say a little prayer. All of this and I wonder how I got here.Why did I decide to do this? I mean it’s not like I know how to do anythingelse? Was this the consequence of an impulsive decision 6 years ago? “Damn,” Isay to myself. I’ve been on this road for 6 fucking years. I ponder some moreand then I arrive.

It’s not that I don’t love what I do. I DO. Similar to most relationships-whether it’s with a boyfriend/girlfriend, your family or your career, there are good and bad days. I certainly enjoy the good days. Those days are made up of the friendly faces that I see, surprisingly, in the Emergency Room, amidst the daily hustle and bustle. I get to see good, honest, hard-working people move around with IV bottles, tubes and syringes. Bad days, on the other hand, are exhausting, and you literally feel your emotional battery draining, one green bar at a time until you’re at the bottom of the cylinder. An exaggeration?

It’s a commitment…

I said “I do” to the idea of wearing that slightly stained long white coat and saving lives with the naïve notion that the road to it would be endurable. I believe I have endured. Anyone in the health care profession would probably say something similar. You can say you love something so much and still feel tired, I guess. And in the midst of shaking knees about to give, I see friends, family members, going about their lives, moving forward- whatever that may mean to you. Was I stuck with the fruits of circumstance or to the product of my own decisions?

There are days when I ask myself “Had Ibeen more informed, more creative 10 years ago, would I have made the samedecision. Would I have chosen this path, still?”

I’ll be completely frank. I’m not ashamedto say “NO”. But what else could be more fulfilling to me than this?

My dad once told me “Just think of yourself as a rubber band”- Your fibers stretched to what seems like your limit, and you reach that and you think to yourself, “I can go much further than this”. And then the next thing you know you’re high in the air, soaring to a place you never thought you’d reach. After everything you’ve been through, you’re so much more than you ever dreamed possible.

“Think of yourself as a rubber band.”

– Dad

There’s one thing you shouldn’t do…

It’s a slow, painfully exhausting process but it is crucial that you DON’T STOP. But don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with taking a break. Contrary to popular belief, rest is very important for both the body and the soul. What we shouldn’t forget is that dreams are only dreams until you act on it. If you find something that lights a fire inside you, one that feeds that inner hunger, pursue it. Trust me, it’s worth it. At the end of the day, to me, it always is.

For those of you who feel afraid I say you’re on the right path. Go at your own pace. It’s never going to be as easy as you think. But nothing worth doing ever is.

Contributor: Candace Santos

Did you like this article by Candace Santos? Let littlemisadvencha know in the comment section.

Almost Lifeless Cat Who Found a Second Chance Marks 2nd Rescue-sary
Categories Stories

18
Leave a Reply

avatar
13 Comment threads
5 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
14 Comment authors
SushmitaNatalieGreg MercadoChristyKristine Nicole Alessandra Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
Jum
Guest
Jum

You are an inspiration doctora

Sarah Emery
Guest

I love the, “For those of you who feel afraid I say you’re on the right path.” We sometimes can get in our own way because of fear and overcoming fears can be liberating. Great post!

Emily Zielinski
Guest

wow, you have really early starts! you must be exhausted. but its amazing what you are doing.

emman damian
Guest

I love this quote – “Think of yourself as a rubber band.” It’s very applicable to me. Also, it’s all about the mindset. We should be more optimistic.

urika
Guest

This is so very inspiring! Thanks for sharing these words of wisdom <3

Frederique
Guest
Frederique

Beautifully written, we all indeed have good days and bad days but you save lives on the good days and that makes it even better. Ps yeah for John Krasinski haha

joy
Guest

i like your dad’s quote of being a rubber band. thanks for sharing!

Joy at The Joyous Living

Thessa dequina tan
Guest
Thessa dequina tan

U r exctly speaking out of ur heart and mind… And by prayer and devotion u wont go wrong… Despite of the bad days… But der are more good days u can count on… GOD BLESS U ICEEYYY❤❤❤

Kristine Nicole Alessandra
Guest
Kristine Nicole Alessandra

I appreciate the hard work of all health professionals. Being a daughter of a doctor, I am witness to all that you do. I know how difficult it is, the frustration, the stress but being able to adapt to different situations is what makes you a cut above the rest.

Christy
Guest

At some point in our lives, we all question what everything is for. Human as we are, we all get exhausted at how life plays out at times. But everytime, it just passes. And then we feel alive again. Great section on your blog that allows people to share their inner thoughts to the world.

Greg Mercado
Guest
Greg Mercado

You are indeed a rubber band , be more flexible

Natalie
Guest
Natalie

So inspiring. Really beautifully said. Thanks for haring this.

Sushmita
Guest

Very motivating. As you said, it is okay to take a break. However, I am always torn between enough break and too much break 🙁